Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Teasing Methods

I get a lot of questions about teasing. Sexual teasing, that is. You know, Tease and Denial, T&D, sexual torment. Things of that nature. Well, there are literally thousands of ways to sexually tease a man, but here are some of my favorites. PLEASE, send me any methods you use that you are willing to share. I love learning what other people do with their partners when it is time to get them all worked up. And, I have never stopped learning.

Before I start, let me remind you, binding your partner's hands (and adding a blindfold) is something I highly recommend. After all, you really don't want him reaching down and finishing himself off, after you have spent all that time getting him on edge. It ruins all your hard work and leaves him sexually uninterested for the next few days, making him totally unmanageable. The blindfold just adds to his excitement and makes him use his imagination a great deal more.

Let's start by giving you some tips for that “quick-shooter” if you have one. If you can't touch his penis for more than a few seconds before he spurts it all away, don't. Don't touch his penis then. You can get him all worked up and aroused, simply by running your hands, or just your fingertips, over most of his body. He has other erogenous zones. Use them, instead. I often prefer to start this way anyway. It arouses him enough to get his penis standing as strait and tall as it ever will (without a penis pump) so that, by the time I am ready to touch it, he is begging me to do it.

If you have never watched a T&D video on the Internet (yes, I am talking about porn), you really should take some time to watch a few. X-Hamster, Pornhub, and XVideo, are just a few.
Try doing a search with your favorite search engine (Bing, Google, Yahoo) for tease and denial videos. Most SE's will simply post the videos right there for you.

If you go to one of these video sites, the first thing you will notice is that most of the videos only last a few minutes. Most are shorter than fifteen minutes. But if you really want to get your man excited, watch some of the longer ones, say, over twenty minutes long. This will give you a better idea of how these woman can make their partner's erection last so long without exploding and ruining all your fun.

Take your time! After all, if you have the right attitude, it can be great fun for you as well. You want him to last as long as you can make it last. It's called “Denial” for a reason. Don't allow him to ejaculate before you finish. Making him wait until (maybe) next time, will make him much easier to handle when you want him to do chores and such.

I will give you more details in upcoming posts. In the mean time, do your homework.

Mistress Ivey

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Soft FLR

I get a great number of questions about keyholding and Female Led Relationships (FLR), but one question I never seem to get is, "What if I don't want to get into all that BDSM and corporal punishment stuff?"

The answer is simple. I mentioned this in my books, but most people probably missed it because it is such a small part of the whole scope of what an FLR is about. So in answer to the question, "Can we still have an FLR even though I don't totally subjugate my husband?" I give a resounding, "Of course you can." You can make your FLR as hard or as soft as you like. There is no reason, other than you both want it, to subjugate your partner. That is, if you would rather withhold sex for a couple of days, or have him wash the dishes for a week instead of taking a paddle to his bare bottom, it is perfectly okay. You set your own rules.

There are no rules, other than the ones you set for your own relationship. If you don't want to make him wear a chastity device, that's fine. No one says it is a requirement. If you would rather he handle the finances, or the grocery shopping, or even buying you flowers once a week, that's totally up to you. How you set up your FLR, the rules you set, the punishments you prefer to use, are all something that the two of you can work out together.

I encourage everyone who is new to the world of Female Led Relationships to sit down and make a contract, or agreement, as to exactly what is acceptable to the both of you. You may eventually throw it away as your relationship evolves and changes over a period of time. But if you start out by setting certain boundaries, and expectations, you have a good place to start and you each know exactly what is expected of you.

A "Soft" FLR is one in which there may be no physical punishments involved. However, I do strongly recommend that you include at least some tease and denial. It doesn't even have to be in your contract. But I think you will both be surprised at how much fun it can be. From the woman's side, there is nothing like working your guy up and edging him, then stopping at least long enough for him to catch his breath before doing it all over again! Men seem to love it as well.

Mistress Ivey

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Hard Truths

Many of you asked Mistress Ivey's health. Yes, she has been having problems of late. Well, the past two months to more precise. I am not at liberty to say exactly what her problems are, other than to tell you that it has to do with her epilepsy. She has been unable to spend more than 15-20 minutes a day in front of a computer screen. She has "spells" where she can not remember things. In short, she can't spend the needed time online to write this blog, among other things.

In the mean time, I may write a few lines now and again, until such time as she gets things under control, medically speaking. I am also working on some sexual fiction of my own. It won't be  the same as Ivey's, but I hope many of you will still enjoy it. I will try to keep you posted on my progress.

Another truth is that a marriage, contrary to popular belief, is NOT a 50/50 proposition. Quite the contrary. It is a 100/100 proposition. If you both don't give 100% to your marriage it will, most likely, fail. It doesn't matter is you have a "normal" relationship, an FLR, a gay or lesbian relationship, or any other kind. Failure to give 100% to your partner will always end in failure.

Now, one question... If you could purchase a sex-robot who could walk, talk, do the dishes, and provide you with all the sex you could possibly want, would you? Send me your comments on the the subject, please.