The best way to accomplish this is to make and KEEP him as sexually aroused as possible as much of the time as possible. So let's talk about things you can do to keep him that way. The following are some examples of things you can do to insure that he will be thinking about you and about that next ejaculation if and when you decide to give it to him. Some things might not apply if your guy is in chastity.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
I found a new product on the market that is great for tormenting a man's cock while you are teasing him. Well, it's called an “Expandable Ponytailer” by scünci. I am sure you can find them anywhere women's hair products are sold. I bought mine at the local “Dollar General” store. They come in two sizes (large and small). I got one large one and two small ones for a total of $5. The large one measures about 1-3/4 inch across at the base and was sold as a single unit. The smaller one measures about one inch across the base and was sold as a pair (for smaller ponytails I assume).
When you open them up (by spreading them out) the first thing you notice is those wonderful teeth inside! They are built as a lattice work that expands and contracts as you pull and push on them. I suppose they would be nice to hold a ponytail in place, but, as I said, I had another purpose in mind for them.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
|Aneros going in...|
So if I stimulate this spot I can give my man an orgasm he will never forget? Yes, and no. There is a device designed for just that purpose. It's called the Aneros. They actually make several different models, but the basic function remains the same. I have not personally used one, but I am told they work very well. If used correctly, you can give you man an orgasm he will never forget or milk him dry without an orgasm.
I prefer to use the prostate and prostate-perineum for just that reason – Milking a man's cum without letting him feel the relief a regular orgasm would give him. That's right, I said “Milking a man's cum.” If you push your finger well lubricated (or the Aneros) into your man's anus, you can massage the dime-sized soft spot (prostate-perineum) until your man's cum oozes out of his cock. No, it doesn't squirt, shoot, or spew out, it just oozes. If you do this, you can keep his cock erect for hours without the use of any of those drugs designed to allow longer erections.
So what does all this have to do with me? By milking my slave's cum I can deny him an orgasm and still keep him erect and wanting more. In fact, he doesn't even have to be aroused in order for me to milk him. That's right. Milking does not require arousal. If you are into orgasm denial, milking your man when he isn't even aroused can be a big control mechanism. It's a great humiliation for those who enjoy that as well.
Once you have milked him dry you can humiliate him by making him drink his cum or measure it and make sure he has not been masturbating in secret. Make a frozen “cumsicle” for him to enjoy later, or whatever. I'll leave the ideas of what to do will all that cum, once you extract it from him, up to you. I would love to hear what you do with it.
For more information on milking I suggest reading Lady Lubyanka's blog on milking.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
In this scene I will use some humiliation. I will talk about some of the fantasies that my fictitious victim has. You will need to substitute your guys fantasies (whatever they are) for the ones used here. Note: All questions to the victim (sub, guy, man, slave or what have you) are rhetorical (as yours should be). That is, you really don't care what his answers are, or even if he answers at all. The point is to make him think about what you are doing and what you might do. The words in brackets “[ ]” indicate my actions.
Friday, December 3, 2010
- Roulette Wheel
- Betting table (usually cloth)
- Odds chart (see photo)
Bets and Odds: (see Odds chart)
The odds vary according to the bet placed. You can download the photos on this page for a full sized version. (Just click the photo and download it however your browser requires. Same with the table photo.)
How to Play:
The sub (or chaste one, if you will) is allowed to place one bet only. What he (or she as the case may be) wins is determined by the payout odds. The better the odds of winning, the less he/she will get.
- 35:1 – Full orgasm (any way)
- 17:1 – Ruined orgasm (Mistress' choice how)
- 11:1 – 1 Hour of teasing (can include edging)
- 8:1 – 45 minutes of teasing (no edging)
- 6:1 – 30 minutes of teasing (no edging)
- 5:1 – Edged 3 times (however long it takes)
- 2:1 – Masturbate for 10 minutes (no orgasm)
- 1:1 – 1 minute of masturbation
If he/she loses their bet, nothing happens that day. Or perhaps they are punished in some way.
Of course, you can use whatever incentives you like. You don't have to use the examples given here. You may want to use a disincentive such as a humiliation or a punishment to make the better odds not such a good thing. Masturbation can often be a disincentive as well.
So what happens if the ball lands on '0' or '00' and he/she did not bet on them? That's up to you. As Mistress, you can make it anything you want, perhaps a punishment or a very humiliating act of some sort. Here are a couple of simple variations that require only the wheel itself. No betting table or odds chart is needed.
Monday, November 29, 2010
The Brush Tease:
Almost any soft brush will work. If you don't own one, you can pick up a soft paint brush (from 1 to 2 inches wide) at any paint or hardware store. Get the softest and narrowest one you can find. If you have the money, a large sable brush (available at your local art store) is an excellent choice, though they are often expensive.
What you want to do is gently stroke the underside of his cock with the brush. Use the lightest stroke you can, especially at the beginning of your session. You can use heavier strokes as the session progresses. Pay special attention to the very sensitive area just below the tip. Press hard enough to make his cock “jump” if you can. That means he can not only feel it, but you are really getting to him.
You can keep this type of cock teasing up for as long as you like and the odds are he will never reach a point where he will be able to cum. But it will drive him crazy. Don't be shy. You can tease his nipples and other erogenous zones if they are sensitive enough.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
• Spank or whip him. (wooden spoon, hairbrush, belt, ruler, ping pong paddle, or buy a paddle)
• Tie him in an uncomfortable position and scold him for his misdeeds.
• Tie his ankles together and attach his balls to them. Let him lay there and think about his mistakes.
• Hog tie him. (wrists and ankles all tied together)
• Hang him from the wall by his wrists. (you can get over-the-door hooks anywhere)
• Tie him in a chair with his knees pulled up to his shoulders. This is good for spanking because everything is exposed and vulnerable.
◦ Use a small plastic swizzle stick (or a large dildo) to probe his ass.
◦ Wear rubber gloves and give him a slow, prolonged anal exam with one or even two fingers.
• Take each ball in a separate hand and rest them on your open palms. Tell him that these use to be his but they belong to you now, to use, or play with as you please. Jiggle them in your palms, cup each hand around them and squeeze very slowly and somewhat gently, but until you see him grimace. Ask him who owns these things now.
• Tie up his balls and cock with a long leather thong, clothes line, or boot lace. Use a long piece, and wrap his cock and balls repeatedly (but not too tightly).
• Tie tight loops around his shaft from base to tip then tie the ends off back between his legs and up to a belt or to his handcuffs. Use a needle to scrap along his shaft lightly, and poke his bottom a few times.
• Attach clothes pins or nipple clips to his nipples, balls, cock or wherever.
• Put a butt plug in his ass. Make him wear it all day or take him shopping with it in.
• Get out the strap-on and make him suck it or fuck him with it.
• Give him an enema.
• Make him wear a cock cage. One that locks!
• Don't give him permission to cum. Deny him orgasms for a long period of time.
• Put Ben-gay or Icy-Hot on his penis and nipples.
• Put Ben-gay or Icy-Hot on his hand then make him masturbate.
• Drip candle wax on his cock and balls (from at least 15 inches up).
• Make him do exercises (jumping jacks, leg spreads, squats,aerobics...) while naked.
• Grab him by his ears and pull his head down between your legs and make him service you.
• Make him purchase a blow up doll from the local sex shop. Have him bring it into the living room, blow it up and set it on the coffee table.
◦ Don't say anything about it for an hour or so, then have him strip and fondle him till he is hard.
◦ Make him mount the doll and screw it while you watch (or video tape him).
◦ You could paddle him, or tickle his ass cheeks with a long feather if you like.
◦ Make him talk to her, give her a name and say sexy things to her while he is humping her.
◦ Have him do it until he cums and tease him about what a little stud he is.
◦ Tell him you may let your girlfriend (whoever) watch this one time, or how the guys at work would love to see this.
This last bunch is more of a humiliation, but if he doesn't want the photos or videos published, it becomes a punishment.
I hope you get the idea here. Anything you want to do is okay as long as it won't cause him any permanent harm. Please write me (or comment) if you would like to share your experiences with my readers. Please be safe, but enjoy yourself!
Monday, November 15, 2010
I get so many letters from women asking for ideas of ways they can tease their sub/slaves. I have given some ideas in other posts, but here is a list of things you can do if you run out of ideas. Many of these may not appeal to you, but perhaps you can use them to come up with ideas of your own.
- Make him strip naked and stand with his legs apart while you sit in a chair in front of him with your clothes on. Make him masturbate in front of you till he is ready to cum then make him stop. After a few minutes make him repeat the procedure.
- Have him kneel before you and worship your feet. Make him lick them and kiss and suck on your toes and spend some time doing this.
- Have him kiss your ass...make him beg to kiss your ass. Have him tell you that he wants to be your "ass slut" and tease him about this. Don't let him have you right away, wait until he pleads with some seriousness in his voice.
- Tie his hands behind him and have him remove your panties with his teeth.
- Tie his hands behind his back. Have him kneel with knees spread naked in front of you while you read or watch TV. Tell him to keep his eyes lowered. Occasionally, nudge and tease his balls and penis with your shoes. You can wear high heels if you like
- Use some thick yarn and tie a slip noose in the end... tighten it around the head of his penis, tug on it, pull it shake it, lead him with it, whatever you please.
- Show your slave your panty crotch, make him smell it, but no touching.
- Tie your slave spread-eagle to the bed and tease him for hours. Use ice cubes on his balls, warm massage oil to masturbate him slowly, etc... Make sure he has a big hard on, but once he does, only touch it when he needs just a little more encouragement, don't let him cum.
- Put on his favorite lingerie or dominant costume and tease him with it.
- Scratch him with your finger nails, tickle him, run a feather up and down the inside of his thighs, pinch his nipples, generally torment him, and keep him aroused, but no cumming till you are ready to allow it.
- Sit on his chest and find out what he would do to be allowed to kiss your nipple..let him almost kiss it but pull away, make him beg.
- Take a break, put some worn panties over his face and leave the room for a while and let him think about what else you might do.
- Squat above his face, make him reach with his tongue to taste you, or your panties... Make him promise you anything.
- Blindfold him and make him lick you to several orgasms. Take a break, come back and do it all again.
- Rub his face against your pussy or sit on his face, but gag him with your panties or a gag so that he can't lick you.
- Tie his balls off to something behind him so he has to tug on them to smell your panties or kiss your ass... Stay just out of reach.
- Tie his balls with some thick yarn and attach the end of that to an object with a little weight, like a hammer, or a weight from a weight lifting set, make him drag this across the floor behind him while you walk beside him and hit his bottom with a switch.
- Masturbate in front of him. Use a dildo or a vibrator, but don't let him touch you or himself.
- Put the base of the dildo in his mouth and make him satisfy you with it. Do it so his nose presses between your ass cheeks. Make him lick the dildo clean.
- Tie him down to the bed with one hand free. Make him masturbate but do not give him permission to cum with harsh punishments for disobedience.
- Make him wear a cock ring, get him hard, and then snap the end of a riding crop (or plastic fly swatter) down firmly across just the tip of his penis.
- Bind his hands behind him. Attach a cup or shot-glass to his cock. Make him watch his favorite porno flick or video on the web. Collect as much pre-cum as you can. What you do with it then is up to you.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Humiliation seems to be most women's biggest hangup when it comes to controlling their sub/slaves. So here is a short list of humiliating things you can use to tease and please your sub/slave. Many of these may not appeal to you and that's okay. Just do whatever you like and leave the rest. Send me any ideas of your own, tell me what works for you.
Once he'll "do anything to please you" here are some ideas that will keep your submissive attentive and in his proper place, and will hopefully be entertaining for you as well.
- Make him wear Your panties or lingerie, dress him up as a little girl or a French maid, have him serve you dinner or bring you a drink while you read or watch TV. When you have no need for him he can stand in the corner with his nose pressed against the wall.
- Make him do housework naked or dressed in women's clothes.
- Make him hand wash your panties and lingerie.
- Ride him around as your pony boy... Spurs? A riding crop?
- Make him wear a collar and lead him around with a leash like a dog, he can even eat dinner from a dog dish on his knees at your side when you are at the table.
- Attach a leash to his balls or a cock ring, and lead him around with that.
- Tie it off in front of the sink while he does the dishes.
- Tie it to the foot of the bed when you go to sleep at night.
- Tie it off in front of the sink while he does the dishes.
- Dress him up like the slut that he is, wear a strap-on dildo and make him beg to suck it. Fuck him with it.
- Make him wear your panties or lingerie under his regular clothes when he goes out or goes to work so that he will think of his Mistress constantly.
- If he is horny and you are not, make him strip and kneel silently in front of you and order him to stay erect, but don't allow him to cum.
- Make him masturbate for you, make him beg for permission to cum, don't let him, punish him if he does.
- Make him earn his rewards; for example:
- If you think he's earned an orgasm, make him cum on your feet or on your heels or in a dish or on your ass and then make him lick you clean.
- Don't let him masturbate or touch his cock for 4 or 5 days. Make him go and get a small saucer from the kitchen and kneel in front of you and masturbate, his cum to be shot in the small saucer. Let him lick up his own cum.
- Order him to bring himself to the edge of orgasm and stay there until you give him permission to cum. When you give the command he must cum within 10 seconds or he will be punished or not allowed to cum at all that day.
- If he's really horny and bothering you, you may want to curb his interest by ordering him to jerk off 2 or 3 times in a day, or you can do this for him... There are a variety of things that can be used to create different sensations... Gloves, cremes, creme with coffee grounds on the hand, nylon sleeves, etc...
- Make him lick you clean after sex.
- When you go out, order him to tie himself up, be naked or dressed up as a girl and be kneeling at the door for when you arrive home.
- Make him think of a new way for You to humiliate him.
Remember to have fun with it!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
There are three very important factors that need to be addressed if a Dominant wants to humiliate his/her sub successfully.
- It must be an action that the sub secretly (deep down inside) wants to be forced to do.
- It must be something that the sub would likely never actually do on their own.
- It must NOT cause the sub any real harm (physical OR psychological)!
By “forced,” I mean they must be encouraged properly. A Dominant's order is a very good incentive for a sub. For example: It is common for a male sub to want to taste his own cum. But many would never do it on their own because it would be too embarrassing, especially in front of someone else. If the Dominant orders him to do it, then he has the incentive he needs to follow through. He will get a thrill from having been “forced” to do it (even if he hates the taste).
Each sub (male or female) has their own desires as far as humiliation goes. It is a Dominant's job to discover what these things are. Once known, the Dominant can use the information for many joyous activities. There are a number of ways to find out just what these secret desires are. One good way would be to have your sub fill out a BDSM check list such as the one found on Soul's Haven web site. You can prepare your own questionnaire for the submissive to fill out privately. Another excellent way to discover what your subs secret desires are is to have him/her write (email is good for this) fantasies from time to time. Don't try to overwhelm him by ordering a fantasy a day. Spread them out, maybe one a week would be a good place to start.
Once you have a good idea what kinds of things your sub finds humiliating you can work up some good scenarios to put him/her through their paces.
For more information on fantasies and how to use them, Click Here.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
A word of warning which I will only say once, so pay close attention. Hitting the balls, even just the flick of your finger can cause a great deal of pain. So be careful. Too much pain and your submissive will lose his focus and you may have ruined the scene. Hit too hard (such as with your fist of your foot) and you can do permanent damage to your submissive's genitals. We don't want that, now do we!?
You can usually squeeze a pair of balls pretty tightly without causing much pain. So don't be afraid to grab those suckers and let him know you are in charge. You can squeeze a hard cock just about as hard as you can without causing much pain either. But putting it (or his balls) in a vice will not only be extremely painful, but can cause damage as well. I guess what I am trying to get you to understand is that you should start out slowly and gently. You can gradually increase the intensity to see just where your submissive's pain threshold is. Then you can help him to gradually increase that threshold to whatever level you like. Just remember, it takes time to increase his pain threshold.
Some of you (like me) can be very sadistic when it comes to playing with our submissives. So, please, restrain yourself when dealing with CBT. Always start out gently. You may have seen movies where women have used a riding crop, flogger, or even a cane to strike a submissive's cock and balls. Trust me, one of two things is true when you see this: 1) The Domme is not really hitting the cock or balls, or; 2) The submissive can take a great deal of pain. However, you can strike the cock harder than you can the balls. Just be very careful where you aim.
I will talk about some of the fun things you can do with CBT in future blogs, so watch for them.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Okay, you have your husband, boyfriend, sub or whatever he is in the palm of your hand (instead of his own). But how can you keep him interested in pleasing you all day, everyday? You need to come up with some ideas on how you can tease him, humiliate him, or just plain make him think about getting into bed with you all day long. Here are a few ideas to get you started. If you use them, or find some of your own, please write me and tell me all about it.
While he is at work:
- Make him wear a pair of woman's panties to work under his regular clothes. Believe me, he will think about you all day!
- Send him text messages at random times telling him erotic things, such as, how much you want to suck his cock, or in what way you want him to give you an orgasm.
- While you're at it, have him stop by your favorite sex shop and pick up something that will embarrass him to buy. A blowup doll, perhaps?
- Call him on his cell phone and have him go to the rest room and masturbate while he is talking to you. Don't allow him to cum, but make sure he has to do some talking that will embarrass him if anyone should overhear.
- Have him put a plug in his butt for an hour or two. Or put one in before he goes to work and call him to tell him when he can take it out.
- Stick a pair of your panties in his pocket and tell him to smell them several times during the day. Maybe when you call or text him?
When he is at home:
- Make him spend the day naked while doing chores.
- Make him masturbate for you but don't allow him to cum.
- Make him beg to kiss your ass.
- Put a leash on his cock and lead him around the house.
- Make him satisfy you orally several times during the day.
- Tie him to a chair and tease his cock for hours on end.
- Call him into your bedroom several times during the day. Fondle or suck on his cock until it's really hard then tell him he can go.
- Whisper in his ear that he is to go into your room and make himself hard. Have him call you when he has done it so that you can check the results.
- Take him to the bathroom and make him masturbate for you. Just don't let him cum.
- Send him to the store with a butt-pug in place.
- Make him wear a pair of woman's panties then stick your hand down his pants periodically and fondle his cock or ass through the panties.
- If you have two computers in the house, use your IM's to chat and build a fantasy together.
There you have it. I am sure that you can come up with some of your own ideas and I would love to hear about them. Please write me and tell me all about them. You can catch me at CollarNcuffs.com as well.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
This is a letter sent to me from a friend. He wanted advice on how to approach his wife about becoming his Mistress. So I agreed to post it here so that his wife could read it and so that it might inspire others to openly express their desires as well.
To my loving wife,
To my loving wife,
I feel I am at a cross roads and am happy to be experiencing that with you at my side but also, newly founded, as the head of our house, the woman I worship, and the woman who is my lead. All of this is true and would be true whether or not there was bdsm in our life. I want you to understand that. I feel like I have the opportunity to re-invent myself, as I said before, but I need not only your help, I need you to be clear and firm with me. I think sometimes you are too easy on me. I will explain later.
Please understand what it means when I say you are the head of the household. Moving your clothes in the bedroom, you sitting at the head of the table are small symbols of that. I want you to be the boss and have final say about everything, if you wish it. Correcting me, guiding me, showing me, and disciplining me and punishing me are all apart of this. I know it takes effort and care. I thank you for taking it slow, but I think you can speed up a little, at least on my account.
Some examples... I would ask that you set a date for me to quit smoking, tell me how you want me to taper off and just expect it to be done, with your help when I am cranky. Once the date hits, me smoking would mean being punished (which means punishment, not something I would like). Knowing you will follow through will help me. You might do the same with me losing weight.
Yesterday I should have greeted you at the door. Yes I was a bit sad and lost, but that is no excuse. You should be greeted, shoes removed, feet kissed. If I were you, knowing what I am needing, I would have punished me, sent me to the corner, something, for a while... a punishment that matches the infraction. Please discipline and punish me when I displease you. Slap me, send me to the storage room, whatever works for you.
I think you let me cum too often. I cant believe I am saying that, but I notice that I am more at the top of my game when I am hungry to cum... I am not saying I never want to cum or that you shouldn't let me if it is what you want, but I am prepared to be denied. I no longer expect to cum, to be honest, very often. I do not expect you to make me cum. I do not expect you to suck me anymore. I want it to be all your choice and I want your pleasure to be top of mind for me. Remember, I am most excited when I am hard. I get hard serving you and when you speak to me as my Mistress, when you humiliate me, etc. I do not get hard when I cum. Think about that.
I adore you. I want to be as good as I can be for you. I want to serve you and service you. I want...and I need... to obey you. Be my wife and my lover and my friend while you are also my Mistress and Goddess. Be kind and be cruel. Do as you wish with me. I trust you.